Monthly Archives: October 2017

5 Dating Tips

When I started online dating, I hadn’t been on a date for several years. Getting started was very difficult and to be honest I wasn’t sure where to begin. So, with that in mind, here are some tips to getting started:

First, Take Advantage of Online Dating
If you’re unwilling to give online dating a try, it is my opinion that you are only hurting your chances in today’s dating world.

If you are just starting to look into online dating, I would recommend a site like eHarmony or Chemistry.com. Why? These sites aren’t better than other sites but they remove much of the guess work for someone new to online dating. Other services will work well, too, but it is nice that these services provide specific steps to users throughout the process: from the first contact to the first date. Once you become more comfortable with online dating, moving to service like Match.com is great because you will have more control on who you can contact.

Be Patient
Many people become frustrated (or even give up) early on with online dating because they feel that they are not receiving enough responses. Frequently, the belief is that they are either not interesting or attractive or that they are doing something wrong. Generally, these beliefs are not true. The truth is that finding someone is still hard work even when using a service devoted dating. There is much more going on than just a lack of interest.

The short of it is this: just be patient, especially in the beginning. Once you get a date or two lined up, things will move along better. For me, if I had no dates at all, getting even one seemed to take forever. Once I had a few dates scheduled, though, finding more seemed easy.

Get Comfortable with Dating
In the beginning, date as often as you are able to by not being overly picky. If you’ve not dated for years, getting some quick dating experience will be very important. Any experience is good – even if you suspect the first date will be the last. Don’t convince yourself that you need to find your “soul mate” right out of the gate. As in all other areas of life, practicing will only improve your ability. It sounds very strange to suggest that someone practice dating but if you haven’t dated in a long time, chances are you will benefit. You might be lucky and find someone perfect for you immediately but even if not, you can still enjoy meeting people.

Looking back, I really complicated things for myself in the when I started dating online because I only wanted to date women who had every quality I was looking for. This meant I had very few dates and even on the dates I did have, I was stressed out of my mind. This resulted in my looking foolish on several occasions. If I would have been willing to treat dating as something fun instead of something that must be accomplished, I think I would faired far better.

Talk about you Dating Experiences
When I first started dating online, I kept it as quiet as I could because I was afraid of what people would think. When I eventually started sharing my experiences, many of my friends were suddenly interested in setting me up on dates. I quickly realized that most people love to play matchmaker. Keep this in mind as well: if you’ve been single for an extended period of time, those around you may not even realize you are back in the game. It is very unlikely that letting your friends know that you are dating will bring in any large number of dates, but even if it brings one additional date, that might be all you need.

Trust Your Gut
Some days it seems there are as many people offering dating advice as there are people looking for it. Much of this advice is good but there is plenty of bad advice out there too. So how do you tell the difference? First, anything that promises amazing results at amazing speeds probably won’t help at all. Second, even good advice won’t work for everyone since every situation is different. If you find advice that sounds like it would be horrible for you, chances are it would be. Reading dating advice can be very helpful but always make your own decisions.

For me, the advice that I ran into time and time again was that if I was shy (which I am) I would never have dating success. All the advice said you can either be confident or alone. I believed this for a long time. Even though it felt wrong, I became quite the actor on many dates. Eventually (and fortunately) I realized there was a flaw in this advice: shy is not the opposite of confident, shy is the opposite of out-going. As an example, I know plenty of people who exude quiet confidence. When I stopped trying to treat being shy and being confident as if they were mutually exclusive, I was able to be myself again. Almost over night I became more comfortable on my dates and my dating success took off. I now realize that one of the things that hurt my dating life the most, as strange as it sounds, was taking the advice that almost every expert seems to agree on.

Getting a Date Through Dating

Dating has evolved for many generations. In the past, dating is considered non-existent because the parents get to choose who their children’s life partners would be. But today, the concept of dating is widely accepted. Even the British Royal Family is opening to the idea that the next in-line to the throne can date and find a sensible and well-pedigreed life partner. In the past, Royals can only be married to Royals because they were not given any choice but to abide by the law. Today, you can simply get a date by reading some online dating reviews and clicking on a button to send your potential date a message or two.

So what are the ways to acquire a date? One of the most basic forms in finding a date is by having your friends or relatives set you up on a blind date with someone they know who might just click with you. Almost everyone tried this kind of dating experience and about fifteen percent of all relationships are formed from blind dates. Blind dates can be a stepping stone in a relationship if both parties have a lot of things in common.

Another form of dating can be acquired by meeting someone new at a party, club, bar, church, park, and any other place where you can meet new people. This is the old-school dating kind where you should walk up to the guy or girl you never met before and introduce yourself, get their contact information, and call them for your scheduled meet up. The success of this dating kind will depend on how you click with your date. Most of the first dates become like the question and answer phase where you just sit there and wait to be interrogated until it’s your turn to ask the question.

The next form of dating is the so called group dates. This is like a mix up of old-fashioned dates and blind dates because each party will either have to bring along some of his buds or her girlfriends to the meeting place. They will meet up for some food and drinks. If there are only two people in each party, then it’s called a double date. The only difference with group dates or double dates from the aforementioned dating types is the ambiance of the atmosphere. With group dates or double dates, the atmosphere is lighter and less congested as compared to blind dates and old-fashioned dates.

With the fast paced modern world, some of the dating experts came up with the idea of speed dating. This is fast-paced blind dating scene where singles will have to register for the event and sit on tables. The single men will have to rotate around the tables where women are sitting and go on a date with each one of them for a minimum of three minutes to a maximum of five minutes, depending on the speed dating regulations. Since this is a fast paced dating, each single will have to ask questions they’d like to know from their date within the allotted time period. When the whistle is blown, they will have to swap for their next date in line.

If you are not fond of the awkward silences and the question and answer portion of all the aforementioned dating types, perhaps you are likely to be fond with online dating. This form of dating is practically revolving around the internet for more than a decade and has produced lots of memorable encounters and relationships. By using online dating reviews, you will be able to get to know the other person before going out on a real date. However, before joining just any other online dating site out there, you should carefully know what your needs are and then decide which dating site to join.

Christian Dating Advice and the Largest Date Created by Christians

Christian dating should be seen as the first few steps on the road to Christian marriage. Indeed this is how most Christians do see dating. Of course, this doesn’t mean planning the wedding from the first date but it does mean dating with the idea of Christian marriage in mind. Which is simply a scary way of saying that when you date as a Christian you go on that date open to the idea that this person could be the one with whom you fall in love and marry. This is essentially what Christian dating is, it is dating with marriage in mind. If you go out on a date with someone without being open to the possibility of falling in love then you are certainly on a date but for sure not a Christian date! This leads us on to the biggest Christian dating mistake.

Christian dating mistake #1 Not dating with romance in mind

The biggest dating mistake made by many Christians is that they are not going on Christian dates at all. This doesn’t mean that you are not going to Christian places or doing Christian activities, or even that you’re not dating other Christians. It means that you are making the mistake of thinking that simply being a Christian and having a date equals Christian dating. This is not so. The date itself must be within the framework of Christian ethical standards – how Christians treat other people. Your date should not be with you simply because they are nice to look at, or nice to be seen with. Nor should your date be simply company on an otherwise lonely night.

Many Christians make the mistake of asking someone out on a romantic date when all they really want is someone to go out with as a friend. This leads to obvious complications when you have one person viewing the other as a potential friend, whilst being viewed by them as a potential husband or wife. Christians make this mistake all the time due to the lack of sexual pressure in Christian dating. Knowing that sex is out of the question and with strict personal rules on kissing and other acts of intimacy, it is easy to find yourself in ‘friend mode’ rather than viewing your date as a potential spouse. Now of course a husband and wife are friends, I am in no way suggesting otherwise, but theirs is a special kind of friendship built on a foundation of romantic love.

Dating with marriage in mind means thinking of your date, right from the first date, as someone with whom you could build a romantic, loving friendship with that results in marriage. It doesn’t mean working out the names of your future children five minutes into the first date! Christian dates should be romantic and marriage-minded from the outset.

What is the difference between Christian dating and non-Christian dating? To most people the answer lies in what you do on that date. It’s an easy one to answer. Christians are not going to have sex on the date and may even choose not to kiss. Now ask yourself the difference between Christian dating and two people going out as friends, for a meal or to catch a show? The answer lies in how the couple view each other. The friends, see each other as friends and treat each other accordingly. The dating couple should be viewing each other as dates, not simply as friends. Imagine two friends, a man and a women, going out for a meal to catch up on old times but during the meal the man starts seeing his friend as a date. Unless she starts seeing him as a date the evening is going to end up in upset. Now imagine, a Christian couple on a date but while she sees her date as a date, he sees her as a friend – this evening too will end in upset.

To avoid the biggest dating mistake made by Christians, simply make sure you are going on a Christian date. Not a night out with a friend but a date. When you consider asking someone out on a date, ask yourself first if you could see yourself in a romantic relationship with this person. Don’t be one of those Christians who find someone they like as a friend and ask them out on a date (knowing there will be no sexual pressure) with the idea that at ‘some’ time in the future things ‘may’ get romantic. Christians know that romance doesn’t mean sex but dating should mean romance – right from the first date.

Dating Sites and Steps to Get the Right Date

Often, the uncertain feeling of whether there will be a second date or not can test your nerves unless of course you are into one date thing. Singles everyday are turning to online singles dating sites because they offer a huge database of local singles and advanced search and communication tools making dating easy and this is all done without leaving your computer, point, click and communicate. These following tips can help you transform that first date into a second date. Many singles find that using online dating sites to find a date for this weekend or something more long term is an easy and exciting way to get that all important date. Of course, there is no one specific method that works for everyone but we believe these tips will help you achieve first date success and that should lead to getting a second date.

First Date Tip #1: Just relax and have fun with your date -this will put your date at ease

No matter if you are an experienced savvy dater, first dates can test your nerves but it is so important to just have fun and gear your conversations to finding some of the things you both like and dislike and work towards finding common ground as this will help the both of you to relax and enjoy your first date together. Early in the date be sure to make the important eye contact while engaging in your conversations, this gives the feeling to your date that you are interested and will keep them from clamming up. Communication is imperative in dating and relationships in general. Not quizzing them about their relationships history is important will go a long way in making your date more comfortable with you.

First Date Tip #2: Leave your date with a burning desire for a second date

Typically, it might not be a good idea to let your date go to far physically on that first date, first dates more often than not are for getting to know each other on subjects such as did you grow in the area, where did you attend school or college at, what are your personal or career goals and whatever other type of things your date may really passionate about. Other questions about their past relationship history is should be in your second date and beyond as this can really be a touch and go subject and could turn a first date into a disaster. The first date is not meant to uncover their entire life history, instead more of a synopsis outlining your highlights and accomplishments and the amazing life you have so that the other person can decide if they want to know more and whether they would want to be a part of your life or not. Ultimately, the key to getting a second date is to have fun on the first date.